Originally published January 6, 2013, on a now defunct blog, this post was recently recovered and edited for clarity.
This tends to go hand-in-hand with the feeling of, “I can’t get a massage because I’m self-conscious.”
There are lots of things that could happen and be considered embarrassing during a massage:
- Breaking wind.
- Leaking breastmilk.
- Getting an erection.
- Draping snafus.
- Needing to use the restroom.
- Cell phones ringing.
- Animals jumping on the table (usually in mobile massage, not at the office).
- Etc., etc.
And if any of these things were to happen during a session… so what?
We’re all human, here. (Except for the animals.) Bodily functions keep on happening whether we want them to or not. Accidents happen. People forget to silence their cell phones — in which case I feel perfectly justified in dancing to their ringtones.
In my experience, I’ve seen more of my clients than I cared to (thus my steadfast draping rule) and I’ve become inexplicably ill while giving a session. And yet, life goes on.
I’m not going to judge you. Any therapist worth their salt won’t judge you, either.
- If you loudly break wind, say, “Excuse me.”
- Let your therapist know if you’re breastfeeding so that we can put an extra towel on the table.
- Ignore erections.
- Sometimes I mess up on my draping, and so I will do my best to apologize if the sheet slips. Please respect my need to use proper draping.
- If you need to use the restroom, please say so. Going before the session is preferable because of the long, video-monitored walk to the restroom at my current office.
- Remember to turn off or silence your phone prior to getting on the table. I will dance to your ringtone.
- Keep pets and small children corralled during your session. They usually don’t bother me, but they can be difficult to work around.
I look forward to working with you!