Sunday, May 20, 2018

"Do You Accept Same-Day Appointment Requests?"

One night, at 10:00pm, I received a text message from an unknown number about a potential client looking for deep tissue massage. I turned them down, saying, "I'm not the best massage therapist for what you're looking for." Turns out, it was from Brad Pitt. I was crushed that had I missed out on this once in a lifetime opportunity.

(Did you know my keyboard has a sarcasm key?)

I do not accept same-day appointment requests. 

... with caveats.

You are welcome to contact me about last-minute openings, if:
  • You are a current client or a friend/relative of a current client.
  • You have been referred to me by a local chiropractor, osteopath, or other medical professional.

Generally speaking, my practice might be a good fit for you, if:
  • You are a real person and not masquerading under a celebrity's name.
  • You are looking for a legitimate massage and understand that draping is a requirement.
  • You are a woman between the ages of 30-70 living with chronic pain.
  • You are looking for a reduction of stress and anxiety symptoms.
  • You prefer your massage pressure on the Light-to-Medium side.

I recently changed my online booking platform to a new system. To book your appointment, you can simply use:

Select your desired appointment length, then select a calendar day in bold to view available times. For a single appointment, click "Continue," or to set up a continuing schedule, click "Recurring." You will have the option to prepay for your appointment through Square; to skip, select "Pay Later." You must agree to the listed policies and procedures prior to booking.

Cheers to you, Brad Pitts of the world. And to the rest of you normal folks out there, I hope you can appreciate my humor.